Today is a Day for Newness, for looking forward and not back, for taking what is in front of you and Grabbing it while it is there. I have done a lot of thinking in the past few weeks about my personal fears and hang ups. I hope for 2011 and beyond to be able to let go of some of the fear that grips me. This is not ordinary fear of spiders, heights, snakes, things like that. This is a personal fear...possibly a fear of success, I am not sure, I haven't really labeled it, but I do know I have a tendency toward self sabotage when things get too good. I end things...jobs, relationships, classes, etc when i think they might be going well. Why you ask? I am 100% sure, but i suspect it is easier for me to end things than let "them" end them and leave me the one that is hurt.
I also recognize I have a real competitive core to myself, which in itself is ok, we all need drive, ambition and competition to "stay in the game." This can get destructive though...especially when you hang your self worth on being better than you were before every time you do something...or being better than someone else. We are all as good at something as we are. That is all. That is what matters...should you strive to get better? Of Course! But if you take a step back or have a bad day should you quit? Get Discouraged? NO! You should push on and accept those little bumps!
I have chosen a word (a la Ali Edwards) this year...no resolutions, just One Word...and this word, I hope, can enter into all aspects of my life this year and bring with it some peace, happiness and growth.
That word is "Simplicity" as defined by Merriam Webster:
: restraint in ornamentation : this will be for my Home more than my personal self...I do love my bling ;)
One of my creative goals for 2011 is to participate in a p52 (Project 52, one photo per week.) I like the idea of a p52 over a p365 because I think it allows you to chose meaningful photos, moments and meaning each week instead of Forcing yourself to take and post a picture just because it is a day in your life.
Something I discovered last night at a Wonderful New Year's Eve Party is that I am too serious about my photography...I take Art pictures 9 times out of 10, close ups, Macros, Landscapes...make everything look perfect kind of photos. Last night I let go and started snapping away...my friend and I were actually having a camera war...and the photos, while not Perfect in Any photography rule book on the planet...are just that, a Perfect representation of a night of frivolity, fun and general chaos with some of my favorite people in the world!